What now..

I've been home now for 3 weeks. Of course I'm getting back into the routine of things, not too hard to do when you've only been gone a few months. But still, it's different being back.
Or shall I say, I'm different.
I know nothing here has changed, It's all still familiar. But how do I live the "different me" in this old familiar life now.?
Is it my human nature that can never be satisfied, whether here or abroad? When I was at home, I dreamed of going away. When I was away, I dreamed of being home. And now I am back home, and it feels as if I am in a dream, floating along somewhere in between the two worlds I know. Waiting for WHAT'S NEXT !!?? 

 2 months is not a long time, but it's long enough for God to change your views on life completely. Before I left on this trip, back in July. I remember feeling so scared and uncertain. I prayed that God would start a new beginning in me through this trip. That he would brake my heart for what breaks His.. And he did!

I have no doubt that God completely broke my heart for the people in Zambia. He opened my eyes to the love and spiritual warfare that is surrounding each of us. 

A question I get asked alot since being back is, what is different about being back home.?.. And  to be honest, it's not the food, or the language or the fact that I can get in my own car and drive 70 mph down the road.. It's the lack of spiritual awareness. 

People here in America don't take the time to notice how much of a spiritual warfare takes place in our own lives and those around us. We stay preoccupied with our busy schedules and things we find so important. We forget to take time to pray, thank God, or even to stop and ask a person how their day is and how we can help others. We are selfish. 
Its not completely our fault, its the culture we have all grown up in. But it is hard to explain to people the pure love, emotion and compassion i received/ experienced this past summer. Its something you can put into words all you want, but it cant be fully grasped until someone has seen for themselves. 

 So now I'm home, and the question everyone wants to know is, Whats Next in my life?.. good question! 
My answer to this is, I have no earthly idea! 
Though i would love some answers at this moment, i have none.  All i know is i am willing to whatever God lays ahead of me. 

Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” (NIV)


Philippians 2:13 “It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” (NIV)

Ive been in Africa for the past two months, there is no way to express how much has changed in my life in these past months.. And there is no way to Thank God enough for blessing me beyond what i could have ever wanted from this trip.
  My second week here in Zambia i ran into a friend i knew from the states. No doubt God had that divined meeting planned. Its not everyday you go to a market that happens once a month and meet up with someone you knew from half way around the world. God's works continue to amaze me ~
 Through this connection i was able to  learn about the organization called Family Legacy, that runns an orphanage here in Zambia called Tree Of Life. http://familylegacy.com
The orphanage as of now holds around 300 kids and is still in the process of growing, building and becoming the vision it has for the future.
 For this past month of my stay i have had the privilage of helping where i can for this organization and meeting and loving on the children here. I have been blessed with meeting so many people who work here and have a heart for this place.
             Looking back i never expected this is what i would be doing in zambia. Goes to show God has way bigger plans than i do for myself :)

I have one more day here before going home to the states. I dont know what my future holds for coming back here, But im not too worried about it. I am so comforted in the fact that God has provided for me over and above what i could have imagined on this trip, and no doubt that He will continue to care for me and place me in the right directions.

Zambia 2012

I have been in Zambia Africa for one month now, just now getting the time and internet access i need to be able to update. My trip so far has been all of  Amazing, challenging, and heartbreaking. The first two weeks of preperation before the team arrived was challenging with getting approval to do medical work here in Zambia. It took many letters and visits to the minister of health, But God provided and even built relationships along the way to grant the permission we needed. Once the SCRUBS medical team got in we got busy with doing clinics around the area. The first one was in Gripps community where we saw around 80 people.

 
God has his ways of blessing you when you are least expecting and teaching you through little things that you dont think matter at the time. I have been shown so much of God's grace and glory in the one month ive been here. The one place that has blessed me most has been a small orphange in Changwe, run by my good friend Jasper and his wife Zion. I had visited this orphanage last year when i came, but only for a short time. This trip we went out for 4 nights, slept in mud hutts, on the ground around a campfire.. it was an amazing experience. Two of those days were filled with clinic work where people from villages all around came to seek medical attention. Some people had walked for over two hours to be seen.
The first day began at 8 am and ran until after dark. We saw so many people, each with their own story.
There were times during that day, with everything being so busy and a little hectic.. i would stop and realize i was sitting in the middle of a mud hutt surrounded by miles of nothing but tall grass and a few small villages. That the people i was coming in contact with saw me, not only as a stranger who was coming into their lives from some other country, attempting to smile and communicate as best i could .. But they saw me as a hope.
To them i was someone with answers, with knowledge and the equipment they needed to gain health and strength back into their lives.
 The medical knowledge i have is not much, But i've learned through this trip and the people i worked with along the way that its Not so much about medical, doctors, or medicine. Yes they help, yes they are needed and much appreciated.
But we cant allow the fact that we came in with meds and a registered nurse become the focus of our time here. There were many people who didnt need medicine, but just to be heard and to relieve to someone what they experience and go through day to day.
The work we did in Changwe was amazing, we saw so many people, met so many needs, and made great relationships.
I have so many stories i could tell, but due to space and not wanting to go on and on i will share only one. The most needed medical attention we saw during our trip was a gentleman brought to us the second morning, carried in the back of a wooden trailer pulled by cattle.
This man (Peter) had a severe burn on his left leg covering from thigh to knee that had happened two weeks prior to us getting there. It was too much to move him so we assisted him by standing around the trailer, heat beating down on everyone. A few people were tending to the burn while the rest of us helped gather water and towels to keep him cool and holding his hand while he cried in pain.
He had been living like this for two weeks and sleeping on a dirt floor unable to move, No way of traveling the distance it would take to get the medical help he needed.
After an hour of treating his wound, praying over his body and helping ease the pain..realizing his wound was more than we could handle we loaded him into the one vehicle we had and assisted him to the nearest hospital where we made sure he was admitted and cared for.
It has been almost 2 weeks since then, and Peter is doing much better now. released from the hospital after 1 week and now back home in recovery.

Praise GOD!

All ready.. kind of

TOMORROW!! i leave for Zambia Tomorrow. And if anyone asks me how i am feeling at the moment my answer would be:  nervous, anxious, excited, unprepared, stressed, overwhelmed AND completely BLessed!! 
I am so Ready to be going back. this does not mean that everything is moved out of my apartment yet, my bags aren't fully packed, and i just now today finished my shopping of supplies i will be taking. But all in all, i'm ready! 
 I was talking with a friend a few days ago about leaving and Trusting that im doing the right thing in this. How its weird to look back over this past year and now being able to tell why God allowed certain things to happen to all plan out and place me exactly where i need to be. 
she said.. isn't it kind of a scary feeling when you suddenly realize God is giving you the things you've always wanted, the things you've prayed about and dreamt about.. It Is. 
 Its exciting no doubt, but it is also nerve racking.
SO, i am asking for prayer, for my travel, for safety, for love and support, for strength and knowledge. for peace and understanding. 
I will miss my family more than anything, they are the world to me, and what keeps me going. 

Gotta Love Them!!! 

MULI BWANJI

In Zambia you are normaly greeted by saying " muli bwanji" which means, how are you?
You would then reply with 'bwino" meaning good or fine. I love the African language, and hope to learn alot more on this next trip there.
Today was our first official Africa 2012 meeting with the SCRUBS group. we will be traveling with a group of 13. There has been some change in my trip the past few weeks. Everything in my life is always last minute. Anyone who knows me well enough knows this!
So i had purchased my ticket with the Scrubs group, planing on july 17th into August 17th. However, after alot of prayer and talking back and forth with the Luwizhi's, the missionary family there, I have decided to stay on another month. So after many phone calls and emails with my so very helpful travel agent Julie, I will be returning home september 17th.
Two months in Zambia Africa. This will be a journey! and i am so excited to go. only 3 weeks left.
The team i will be working with is so fun, loving and supportive of eachother. After only have met them all this one time at the meeting today, i feel like iv known some of them for years. We all get along and share our compassion for Gods love of people and this beautiful country.
As these short weeks go by i will need alot of prayer, for packing, money support, and strength to leave my life i am so used to here and get out of my comfort zone a little and move across the world for two months.
I am so thankful for my loving family who has and will always support me through this. for my parents who make this possible and have given me such encouragement and strength.
I am one blessed girl.

ONE month!

I have come to the conclusion that i need my own computer so that i can post pictures on here and it wont just be my blaa boring writing all the time ;)
Today is June 17 ( happy fathers day) and in exactly one month from today i will be on my way back to Zambia. Its weird that its been about a year since i was there last. I am thrilled to be going back. Not only to see old friends and continue the work there, but God just keeps putting situations and people along my path who i know will have a huge impact on this trip and My life.

 To be completely honest, when i left Zambia last year i wasn't planning on going back. I went to school, got Medical Assistant certified, graduated, moved out.. moved on with life. There were times when i didn't understand why i was where i was, doing what i was doing. BUT one thing i have learned through this past year of being on my own is that God will place you where HE wants you and he will make it Very clear to you. After that, its up to you to listen and follow or to stay put. At the beginning of this year i had no intension of going back to Africa. But i know that the things that have come up in my life recently and the opportunities God has simply handed me. I would be a complete idiot to pass up. Not to mention miss out on whatever it is thats in store here.
This whole planning of this trip has been a twisted mess. And its amazing to see how its all coming together. It started with me going with my church group, to then being disappointed when that fell through. But still God had plans because he placed SCRUBS in my path and now im going with them for a longer period of time.
I was speaking with Samantha Luwizhi last night. She is the wife of Vincent whom is a missionary in Zambia who we do our work with. She is living in Van for now with her 3 daughters until mid July. She was telling me about a friend of hers named Julie who is from Australia, who will be coming with her to Zambia and living there to prepare to start a premature baby home for the babies and young mothers. Julie has an organization called Zoe's Hope. (www.zoeshope.org)
It was started in Australia and she is now trying to plant one in India as well as Zambia Africa. She will be living with Vincent and Samantha until they find the money to finance a building for Zoe's hope housing.
soo.. I dont know what all that will hold but it is definitely something that is on my heart and i will need prayers for. So excited for this amazing journey and im ready to leave already!
ONE more month :)

AFRICA 2012
After alot of change, prayer, and planning, i will be returning to Zambia this summer!
 God has closed some doors these past few weeks with the group i did my travels with last year. Due to finances and lack of people the First baptist Van group fell through and came to conclusion that the money we have been raising would better benefit going to Africa alone than helping pay for plane tickets and other expenses to get us there. However, and this is how i know God is moving in this mission.. The team i worked with while in Peru a few summers ago was already planning a trip to the same villiage and working with the same people. They are a non profit medical mission team called SCRUBS http://www.scrubsmedicalmission.org/. This is also a blessing, seeing that i have some experience now in the medical field.
We will be working with an African doctor and while providing medical help will also give education to the children of the community there. I am beyond excited to be going back and visiting this beautiful country. i will be staying a month and plan to keep an update on my travels.
Im not sure what my plans are to do after Africa. But i have NO doubt in God he will provide.
He has been so good to me, and though i do not deserve this he has chosen Me to help on this misson to Africa.
Please continue to pray for the planning of this mission and for the people we will come in contact with. That we will not only help impact their lives with God's love, but that they will have an impact on ours.

A change in the making

I'm still learning this blog thing. At the moment I am without a computer, sO.. To catch you up on what has been going on in my life in the past few months, I got 2 jobs, one full time and the other waitressing nights and weekends. I moved into my own place with my dog, keeping up my little apartment and busy schedule has been a crazy ride, lost some people I cared about along the way through being busy and getting on with my life, but people can't and won't stick around forever, sadly enough.

So now I have a good paying steady job and I place of my own, finally growing up and having things work out and.... .. I want to give it all up.

I don't want to be the girl who stays in the small town with everything in my "normal" little life. I want something different. I've always kinda known that, it just took me trying out the "normal" to come to conclusion it wasn't what makes me happy. So I'm giving it all up.

And yes, I know how reciculous and dumb this all sounds. Iv been in my apartment for a total of 3 months, my job for 2. And I'm already changing things again.
BUT, when God lays something on your heart you have two choices, 1: drop everything and follow him  2: ignore it and miss out on what He has for your life.
Today is sunday, exactly ONE WEEK until my little sister gets married. im so very excited for her :)
I also have my second meeting today for going back to Africa this summer.
Things are still uncertain with the whens and wheres, but i have no doubt it will all work out. God has been so clear to me with this part of my life and im thankful for that. It gives me a peace of mind that though i may not be certain of details, i am exactly where he wants me. and i love that.
 Things are changing, God is moving.. and i am looking forward to what is NEXT.  ~ change in the making~