My 25 BEFORE I AM 25!!

well, this next year marks a mid life crisis. I will be 25 years old in exactly 6 months. Time to start planning a great trip and making my list "25 before im 25".
I know im not old by any means, but you know that day when you wake up and it hits you. how old you are and how fast time has flown by you. how quickly the years pass and all the things you've accomplished.. and the things you haven't. So here is to all the things I have yet to accomplish in this short life of mine. well, 25 things to be exact!

1. zip lining

2. hot air balloon ride

3. go deep sea fishing

4. paint more often

5. accomplish school and apply for nursing

6. dance in the rain

7. move out on my own

8. go on a cruise

9. visit a state I've never been to

10. save $2,000.00 in my money jar

11. exercise at least 3 times a week

12. blog more often ;)

13. join a church, and go regularly

14. plan a trip to a country I haven't been to

15. work on building my credit

16. get a fish (since I cant keep anything else alive for long)

17. grow my nails out

18. get my CHL

19. skinny dip

20. try a new restaurant

21. buy a homeless person a meal

22. make more friends

23. get a new car ( aka used car with good gas)

24. commit to something for an entire 12 months

25. pray more often

Well, that about does it. I will see in six months what all I actually accomplish from this list. But as of now I can honestly say being 24 has been the hardest year of my life by far. So cheers to a New year coming up and to 25 treating me better!

i shall pass through this world but once

''I shall pass through this world but once.
Any good therefore that I can do,
or any kindness that i can show to peoplelet me do it now. Let me not differ nor neglect it.
For i shall not pass this way again.''

^This is a quote i found written in an old 2009 journal of mine. I love it so much i had to write it down again!

It is now 2013!! The holidays went by quickly it seemed and this new year has been a bit of a flash so far. a quick update on the year.., 
I currently have a new Job which i took around the beginning of the year, which at the time i thought was a great idea. I am a Medical Assistant.. aka (nurse for a Dr at an internal Medicine clinic) Its quite a job, keeps me busy. I love the people i work for and getting to meet elderly people who always put a smile on my face. Knowing that i take part in helping people stay healthy at one of the largest Dr offices in town, its a huge accomplishment. However, its a lot of the same routine every day and sitting at a desk in a dark office for ten hours a day. 
I am faced with the same delima as last year. I recently have the opportunity to return to Zambia for six months out of the year.. Yes i know i do this every year.
But i am such a believer in taking chances, opportunities, and if your not happy somewhere to get out and find where God is leading you. Don't spend your life somewhere just to please everyone else, or just because its the Normal thing to do. 
I was struggling with this when i came across a chapter in my favorite book "Kisses from Katie" it read this : 

" I believe God is in control, yes. But I also believe we have a choice, to follow God’s callings in our lives, or to stay where we are comfortable. And even if we remain God will still Love us the same, he will still bless us and guide us. However, not like I could have if I answer to God’s callings. I can miss the will of God. The rich young Ruler certainly did. He didn’t fall dead, as Ananias and Sapphira did; and maybe he went on to live a great life. But it wasn’t the life he could have lived had he said yes to what Jesus was asking of him."

By returning to Zambia this year I would be helping the small village i have been a part of for the past two years. SCRUBS medical mission is traveling back and plan to build a water well, a school, and housing in this small village that has nothing.   My heart is torn. 
In so many ways i want to go and be a part of such a life changing event for the people of Zambia. I want to reunite with friends there and live the Zambian life that i miss so much. 
But is it worth leaving what i have here in America.. ?                                               
 I have a job that normal 24 year old girls would die for. My parents are building a new pool at their house for this summer. for once i have money to do things and have new clothes and possibly my own house in a few months. If i stayed i would be well off in this normal American life of mine. I would be able to spend my summer by a pool and on the lake with my best friend. I could afford to take a weekend trip somewhere fun. 

But there would be a part of me that longed to be in the sands of Africa. There would be a part of me that wanted to see the looks on their faces to see that they now have clean water, to see them be baptized in the water troughs under the trees. To have all those tiny hands pulling at my clothes, and see the children running down the dirt roads. 
It seems no matter what i do, or how content i have it here in the states its never good enough. I never feel right about it, and i don't think thats Normal. 


 SO.. as of right now, i plan on returning to Zambia this June to remain for six months. I hope to purchase my plane ticket next week and send out my support letters as well. After that its kinda a done deal. I feel bad that i've become a "job jumper" I want so badly to stay at this job and become the nurse that stays at one place for years.. but thats not me. Because like the Quote says, " I SHALL NOT PASS THIS WAY AGAIN"  
So once again, i will be leaving my job, my family, my friends.. to be placed where i feel that God wants me. And it feels so right. I feel so at home there. Im ready.